Don’t CAtch Up. Catch A Reset.
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Audio Transcript:
If you've come to this podcast, ready for someone to share with you all of the solutions and have it all figured out and articulately lay it out in the next 15 steps you need to make, like many of the posts we see out there, I'm sorry, I've let you down. There are other folks out there that do that all day long.
But if you've come here ready for a genuine sharing of the journey and an authentic reveal of maybe there's some wisdom, maybe there's some tips, there's some goodness there, and also some failures and learnings and all that in between, then hey,
you're at the right place. Do you ever find yourself saying, oh, if I could go do that, I could get caught up, or I need to go get some time so I can catch up? You know, there's a dad joke around Heinz 57, but I'll spare you that.
That ain't happening, guys, we ain't catching up. There is just too much on our plates in today's modern world that I'm just gonna call it out right now.
For me anyway, and maybe this will help you, there is no way we can catch up to all that we need to do. Now, I say that as a declarative statement like I know.
I don't know what's going on in your world, and maybe, maybe you're in a phase of life or a season of life where you can catch up.
And if that's the case, do it and enjoy it, because as you continue to bring on more responsibilities and engage things, catching up is an impossibility. And I'm just, I'm there to say it. I don't know, take me to task on it.
But for my perspective across my life and others, catching up is an absolute farce. And I think it's just bringing in too much stress, too much expectation that doesn't set itself in reality. So what do we do with that?
Well, I've got thoughts and I've got lots of thoughts. And I want to cover them today with y'all and kind of, you know, really walk through them together. And maybe we'll end up somewhere that we've got a plan.
And I think I've got one. But I want to talk about, like, one of the things in thinking about this notion of catching up, it begins to be stressful. And then I'd be thinking about the weight and the challenge of that.
Like, I could just never catch up or I need to catch up. And it always feels like that's the goal. And for me, you know, my goal isn't to have a clean schedule.
I want to have a clean schedule and a clear schedule because I want the goodies that come from that. But I want outcomes. That's why I fill my schedule full of crap.
That's why I'm adding things. I'm adding one initiative after the other and put more expectations on myself and others because I want the outcomes that come from that. And that's never going to stop for me.
And maybe you're different, but I suspect if you're still listening to this podcast, is this your first one, you're interested, somebody's brought you here, you probably are that kind of person as well.
And so I want to talk about what happens then, at least for me, and maybe this happens that way for you. So when I put this expectation of catching up, it creates stress, and then I feel hooked in. I feel like I don't have necessarily a choice.
I've got all this stuff and I've got all these things I need to catch up on, and it becomes a task given to me, not something I choose because I'm choosing initiatives and tasks and work to get good outcomes, but the bulk of stuff that's kind of
rolling in behind me of maybe past initiatives or whatever else, I'm not choosing that. Now, there's some things in there I'm choosing, but I guess it takes me to several studies through the years, and I'm going to reference these improperly and
whatnot, but the notion of a voluntary runner. And it goes back to this study, and there's been multiple studies since then.
One I just saw was, it looks like, just last year around the notion of, all right, so I think Robert Sapolsky with, it's Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, and maybe it was in this book or maybe it was in something he posted later, but the idea of two rats
running on treadmills, one of them is running voluntarily and the other is being forced to run on the treadmill. Barring all the details, what happens, and you're interested in the studies, you should check these out.
What happens is the rat running voluntarily gets lots of good outcomes and reward center stuff happening in their brain and all those kind of things happening, whereas the runner, the rat who is being forced to run, gets stress and gets the bad
indicators of what's going on with stress and the harmfulness. And so there they are doing the exact same thing, but the result is different. And there's this common belief, I think, in our society that stress is inherently harmful.
And yeah, you got to avoid it. You got to numb it or escape it or all the things that we see in our society and that we've all probably participated in in one phase or another. And I would say, I'm not sure.
Yes, you can over stress yourself, of course. And I've done it. We've probably all done it.
I've talked about it on this podcast. But there's also this notion of stress is valuable. You know, I'm going to propose today that stress isn't the issue in and of itself.
In many, many times, so again, you can always over warm yourself. But it's how we feel about it.
And whether we actually have a say in the stress that we're taking on, whether we have agency, basically stress with ownership that might actually build us as opposed to break us down or harm us overall.
And this idea has just been hitting really close to home for me lately with all three roles in my world of as a founder, a father and a friend. And it's just, you know, it's hard sometimes.
But as I begin to look at this differently and think that all that stress of catching up and all that hanging out there, that's a load that I'm not necessarily choosing to catch up. I chose the things that are in there. We'll talk about it.
It's like carrying a giant bag of stuff. I chose the things in that bag, but when I see it as the bag, I'm not seeing it as my choice. I've seen it as something that's on my back that I got to sort out.
And once I started looking at that, I began to get some clarity, some connection, and this feeling of resilience. So not overnight, but I think I'm working through something here.
So I wanted to talk with you guys a little more about what am I trying to do?
As a founder or a leader in your organization or your team or a manager, whatever your role is, if people are looking to you, that pressure can crush you, it can crush me, unless we claim the agency.
I mean, you're in that role because you chose to be, I'm assuming. And if you didn't choose that role, I don't know, that's something you want to navigate yourself. I mean, did you choose it, now you don't want it?
Did you feel like you didn't have agency, so you chose it out of no other better options? I mean, there's all kinds of things, and we don't have time to get into all that. But ultimately, you're probably there because you chose to be there.
And so when you start feeling forced, it changes things. So right off the bat, I'm trying to just claim intention. I mean, I'm here.
I started this company, and the things that I'm involved in, I chose to be. Yeah, things find you, obviously. But generally, that's it.
And parenting, my goodness. I mean, people complain about parenting all the time. Well, you can't accidentally have kids, but the action to have kids isn't accidental.
And so there was a choice. And while it can feel like a grind at times, when you can remind yourself, at least when I can, I just feel better about it. Nothing changed.
I still got, again, depending on what phase your kids are in, they're either maybe they're throwing a tantrum on the floor because you gave them the color socks they wanted, or it's a teenager telling you how life works and they've only seen it for a
little over a decade. There's all kinds of things that are going on that just absolutely grind you. But when you recognize that you jumped into this pool, this was your voluntary choice.
Instead of being reactive, it allows you to be proactive, if you will, and just feel a little differently. And then obviously, as a friend, to my community, I grew up here.
And I think all of us, we grew up somewhere, and you either choose to stay or you choose to go. And again, you could say, well, I had to move because my job, whatever. Again, that's mindset.
Man, you're going to have to choose your own path there. But I chose to come back here and start my business and raise my family and all the kinds of things here.
And so while it has its challenges, it's a wonderful place to live, but it has its challenges. And I can see those challenges as, oh, you know, it's a weight. Or I chose to be here.
I chose to show up. I chose to get engaged on purpose. And that just builds trust in myself, like what we're doing here.
Yeah, it's going to be hard, but it's there. So again, I just go back to, I don't think it's the weight necessarily that breaks us generally, but more the lack of control or the feeling of the lack of control.
Now again, you've heard me on this podcast talk about having too much. And yes, I have absolutely put too much on myself, but I've also not been so deliberate about how I perceive those things oftentimes. And so this is what I'm talking about.
Agency plus adversity creates this kind of antifragilness or this resilience that allows you to get through things from at least from where I'm sitting.
So clarity, under pressure, those closer family bonds you're looking for, that intentional presence, the deeper friendships and connection to the community, the moving things forward for your community in a way, all those things are tied together
with mindset. And we know that, yeah, no, no, no. But as I look at it, what really clicked on this for me, at least recently, is this notion of catching up. And I've said it like three times in an hour to maybe two or three different people.
And it was almost like saying something you see in the movies or whatever, and I'm trying to think of the movie or the story or the book or something. You say it a third time and all of a sudden you hear it in your head, and it's like, oh.
And that's what happened to me. So I think now the next level for me is the phrase I'm going to try to use instead of catching up, is I'm going to catch a reset. And that's, I know, words, but words matter, words matter.
And so for me, I'm going to catch a reset. A reset is me pushing a buttons or something, right?
So from technology, you're going to reset, you're going to push the button, you're going to power cycle something, you're whatever, you're sticking the, grabbing the paper clip, you're straightening it out, you're standing in a little tiny hole to
reset something. It's a reset. So you're doing something, there's agency there. As opposed to catching up, it's like, I've got this pile of stuff I got to dig into.
Yeah, you grab the shovel, but that pile is there. For me, I'm going to choose to reset. So instead of catching up, I'm going to catch a reset.
Yeah, whatever, catching reset. I'm going to try it out. We'll see how it goes.
I'd be open to your thoughts if you have better phraseology or things you've done in the past. But ultimately, for me, flourishing doesn't mean that there's no stress. I don't know how you can flourish without stress.
I mean, we need to be challenged to test our metal, to show our character, to build our skills, all those things. It means flourishing means facing stress with purpose and with an outcome focused and with agency. I think that's really important.
So when we choose to run the race and not be dragged through it, I think there's a heck of an opportunity that it transforms us. And this is this I think it's true in business. I think it's true in families.
I think it's true in in our community and relationships and all of that. Flourishing begins with agency. It begins with ownership.
And yeah, you don't control everything. Of course, there's a ton of stuff that happens outside of our control.
And you know, there's a lot of things we choose that, you know, you grab the tiger by the tail and all of a sudden on either side of that, something you didn't know you were choosing. And that all happens. And I think that's part of life.
But then comes that reset. And tactically, what does that look like? Well, for me, it's going to be, it's going to be, you know, as it comes and I have that feeling of, oh, I need to catch up.
I'm going to catch a reset. But there's also a deliberateness to this.
So I have in the past, you know, through whether it's a getting things done David or whatever model you use, this notion of a weekly review or twice weekly review or monthly review, quarterly review, those moments, as opposed to trying to catch up,
I'm going to try to catch a reset in those periodic moments. So for me, hey, I'm going to catch a reset. And hopefully, that works. If it doesn't, we'll move on and we'll figure out something else.
We'll iterate from there. But I wanted to share this with you all because right now, in my world, there's a lot going on. And I suspect for many of you, there's a lot going on.
And this myth of catching up, it just needs to have a fork put in it. And so for me, I'm putting a fork in it. I'm done.
I'm not catching up on it. There's nothing I could catch. I catch up on a few things.
There's no way, no way I can catch up on everything that's on my plate. So hey, it is what it is. So I'm just going to catch resets and hope for the best.
And you know what? Unfortunately, that does mean that sometimes you're going to have to renegotiate your commitments. And that's just that's part of life that's always been there.
It's going to be there because again, you're never going to catch up on everything. So you're going to have to do that anyway. And so it's better to face it with agency and face it deliberately as opposed to chasing you down.
So anyway, that's it. I hope you find this podcast valuable. I've enjoyed doing it.
I know, you know, I'm up here kind of make a fool of myself sometimes. So that's part of the deal. And it's what I committed to for this.
And I hope you find value in it. And I hope, you know, you share it with somebody. That's the only thing I ask for you.
We don't have sponsors and that kind of stuff. I'm not looking for you to pay anything or join this or do whatever. All I'm asking for you is, hopefully, if you find some value in it, you know, that's great.
Share it with somebody else. Let me know how it is. Hopefully, you know, you've found something here that's allowed you to flourish a little more in your life.
And that's why we do this. That's why we're doing it. So anyway, thank you all.
I hope wherever you are, I hope that giant mound of stuff you're trying to catch up on, I hope you can look at it, recognize it and realize maybe a reset might be better for you. So anyway, but wherever you are, I hope you're flourishing.
Alex Reneman is the founder of Mountain Leverage and Unleash Tygart and host of Flourishing w/ Alex Reneman. For 20+ years he has worked as CEO of Mountain Leverage, honing the concept of flourishing and experimenting with it in the business. In July of 2024, he decided to begin to share this idea with others, which led to his podcast, social content, and the plans for other initiatives in the future.
