How APPRECIATION LITERALLY SAVED Lives
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Audio Transcript:
The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, as is quoted or misquoted or whatever for Mark Twain. This is Flourishing with Alex Reneman, and we're back. It's been a minute or two since we had our last episode.
And really, as we closed out season one, I took some time, I needed some time to do lots of things. And I want to talk about those things. We've got a lot to share, the ups and downs, the wins, the learns, the everything in between.
And I'm looking forward to sharing it to you here in season two. And just a reminder, or if you're new here, the things I share with you are absolute genuine. They're real, they're my experiences.
It's not a prescriptive podcast. I'm going to tell you exactly how to follow these five steps or whatever. I just don't have the experience for that, and I don't think anybody really does.
You've got to captain your ship, and you've got to live your life. But I'm here as a founder, a father, and a friend to share with you my journey.
And if it's valuable to you, and again, my journey is a Flourishment, I'm looking to Flourish, and for those around me to encourage those to Flourish. And that's where we are. So that's the podcast.
And starting off in season two, the timing of that with Thanksgiving right here is perfect. I want to talk about appreciation. I just want to kick it off right there and open up.
And I want to tell you a story. And it's a story I really wasn't, I haven't told it publicly a bunch. And really at all until about a few, maybe a couple months ago, I was in a group that I want to talk to you guys about.
We'll get there with that. But when I shared it, it was just, I was pulled, we were talking about appreciation. And it just was, it was just just getting pulled out of my chest.
I was like, all right, I got to share it with this guy. And he's an author who in a well, just a wealth of information around how appreciation works in society and just so many other things, just a real fascinating individual.
And as I shared it, he said, you got to tell that everywhere you go. You got to share that, it's powerful. And so here we are, season two, kicking it off.
Iraq War Incident
And I want to set stage. So I am, this is back in 2003, probably mid year, I don't know exactly when I could do the research on it, but that matters less to know. What does matter is that I'm in war torn Iraq.
And there we are in the middle of the Iraq war. We had many missions throughout our time there, but this was a mission to secure a food distribution center.
So for folks who were displaced in war, that don't have access to quality food or consistent food or whatever, there was food distribution, and we were there to guard that. And why guard it?
Well, in any situation, there are factions who want that food or want whatever because it's control. So you call them warlords, basically. And so you have to be there, so that way the food can get to the individuals who need it.
And so there's a process. And that process sometimes needs security, certainly in a country enveloped in war at the time. Now, you know, and look, politics of war and all that kind of stuff, that's not what this is about.
So if we want to have that conversation, we have it later. This is a conversation about humans in a human situation. And so let me set the stage.
So here we are. There's basically, you can see it as a, you know, there's a line of soldiers with weapons ready to guard. Behind them is food distribution.
So there's food, there's people ready to kind of account for that and make sure it's handed off in an orderly fashion. And on the in front of us, there are a line of folks who are there to receive that food.
So, citizenry of Iraq, whether they were Bedouins displaced by the Iraq around war, or whether they were, you know, whatever, they were there ready to receive that food. Now, there's a couple of other factions involved.
One of them was, you know, the aforementioned warlords, the people who don't want this to go well. They want control. They want us out of there.
They want to be able to control that food and have their power and all that. And so, they're agitating the situation. And not, it's not like they have a flag saying, hey, we're agitators here, but they're doing it, right?
They've got people in amongst the crowd. They've done some things previously. They may be posted up shortly in distance, ready to take some shots.
I mean, there's a war, so there's things going on. But behind us, and look, right off the bat, no offense to anybody who's military, police. You guys are probably fantastic, and you did a great job.
The guys were with us that day. They were itching for a fight. They were basically agitators themselves.
And so you had two lines of people that were there. We were there to guard. The ones in front of us were there to get the food.
Then you had two factions that were agitating, and not equal, but whatever. They were agitating the situation. And this thing started getting really hot, started heating up.
And I mean, imagine if you've not been in a situation like that, imagine a movie you've watched or something where there's a line of protesters or people who are pushing against the railings, or maybe you've seen that in real life, maybe you've been
a part of whatever, but it was that. It was just going, it was beginning to get kind of bubbly and frothy and frenetic, and it was becoming really challenging.
And as I looked left and right, at the guys next to me and as what we were doing, and I saw kind of the crowd bump in next to the guy that was next to me, and he lowered his weapon and they backed away.
And I thought, Oh my God, this is going to become violent. This people are going to die. And I really started feeling it deeply, and I was struggling, and I was saying, What can I do?
What other than shoot people? What can I do? And I didn't want to shoot.
Oh my God, are you kidding me? I didn't want any of that. So here I am.
I don't know what to do. I don't see anybody else. I see agitation behind me.
They're up on their toes. They're ready to go. And I see in front, I see the anger, the fear, the frustration, the heat.
Everything's just kind of rallying up. It's just getting really frothy.
Appreciation De-escalates
And in a moment, one phrase came to me, and I just said it. And it was, Shokran Jezelyn. And I said it not under my breath, but I said it to one guy that was across from me.
Shokran Jezelyn. And what that is, for those of you, that's a hibli pronunciation of Arabic, which is thank you very much. And I knew other phrases, but that was the only one that came to mind, right?
In that moment, right? And it just came out. And what was I thanking him for?
I was, there's so many things. I was thanking them for the situation that food was here to feed them, thanking them for, but this was pretty much a thank you in advance. Thank you for not letting this blow up into something big.
And I just, I was sending that out there with my voice, but more so I was sending that out there with my heart. And I was just praying, hoping to God that this, thank you, thank you very much for not making this deadly.
Thank you very much for not, for this not getting out of hand. And so, so as I said it again, Shokron Jezeelin, and I start looking around, I go to my left and my right and I'm Shokron Jezeelin, Shokron Jezeelin, Shokron Jezeelin.
And I'm saying it with, with intensity. And I'm feeling it. Every bit of my body is conjuring up and going out of my mouth.
Thank you very much in Arabic. And as I'm saying it, people start paying attention. And at first, a couple of guys just start kind of mocking me, Shokron Jezeelin, you look at this hillbilly idiot, right?
I mean, I'm sure that's what they're thinking. And I get it. I get it.
It's exactly what it was. But as they kind of, they repeated it a couple of times. And then a guy across me genuinely repeated it, Shokron Jezeelin.
He was thanking me. And I was thanking him. And so we're sitting there thanking each other.
And I keep saying it. And I'm saying it, and I'm feeling it from my, every part of my body is releasing. Thank you very much.
And folks kind of started saying it with me. And so there was almost a kind of a chorus of Shokron Jezeelin across the crowd. And it kind of grew a little bit.
And then some folks just kind of started laughing, but not in a mocking way, but in a casual way, in a calm way, in a fun way. And it was all of a sudden, the air just kind of pulled out of the bubble. Things just kind of started to settle.
The blister just kind of let down. And all of a sudden, we were in a different situation. And there were smiles, and there were, look at this guy, some guys walking away that were agitating, and it just settled.
The dust settled. People did not die that day because of appreciation. Now again, I share that story.
That's not a prop me up or anybody up or put anybody down. It's just to show, here's a really stark example where appreciation was powerful. Appreciation saved lives that day.
That could have easily went a whole other way, and people could have died. And they didn't. They didn't.
Because of appreciation. I'm stretching. I know there's a lot going on, and there's all kinds of things, and that could have ended lots of different ways.
And appreciation in that context is different than how maybe we see it normally. And I hope, I pray, you never are in a situation like that. But I assure you, it stuck with me for the rest of my life, and still, and I think about it often.
And it has shown me that appreciation is absolutely superpower. And I've talked about that before. Gratitude, appreciate, those things.
It's just, it's something.
Appreciation Versus Tolerance
And so we talk a lot in society about tolerance. We're going to tolerate, you look different than me, or you believe different than me, or you maybe have a different sexual partner or religion or whatever, whatever the things are, right?
You different sports team, whatever, I'm going to tolerate you. Yeah, tolerance is cool, I guess, but, you know, I don't know. Think about that.
Think about your kids. What if you just tolerated them? I know there are moments.
Yeah, there are moments, I get it. But really, do you just want to tolerate them? Do they want to be tolerated?
Does that feel good, growing up being tolerated? I know as many of us maybe were in more situations than not. But appreciated, now appreciating.
That's different. When you're invited somewhere, or you show up somewhere, and they say, yeah, come on, and we'll tolerate you. It's fine, hang around for a little while, we'll tolerate you.
Or, man, I'm glad you're here. I appreciate you coming. It's just different.
And we know that, but I don't think we catch it sometimes in our behavior as a society. And so, you look at things going on at the national level. My gosh, man, what a circus.
I can't even. I can't even, but everybody's just ready to put each other down. Let's just crank on each other.
Let's bludgeon one another with absolute angst and hatred and whatever. Where's that going to get us? I don't know.
I mean, I know there are times to pick up the axe and fight. I get it. Grab the shield, grab the axe, go to battle.
OK, fine. I get that. But even then, appreciation still exists.
I mean, battlers can appreciate one another. I know that sounds weird, right? But when you have a spirit of appreciation and you apply that as a tool, as a weapon, things are different.
Things are different. In my experience, things are different. And so, I can apply that across the board.
I already mentioned your kids, your wife, your husband, whoever, your partner, whatever it is. You know, showing them appreciation is like, I mean, you can, and I don't mean fake stuff, you know, whatever.
And you can show it however they, whatever their love language is, right? But for you and your heart to feel appreciation, for me, that has been, that's changed a lot of things in my life, and it's been a real power.
And so, I just wanted to share that today. You know, you take that into your community.
Certainly, we've talked about the larger community, but you know, in your own small community, whether it's your town or your county or your HOA, your neighborhood, whatever, man, a spirit of appreciation just hits different, doesn't it?
It just hits different. And so, as we look at Thanksgiving, and we're getting together with families and all that, and we're taking time off work, likely here in the US., you know, that's going on.
Maybe you're not there, and you get something different happening this week. I get it. But, you know, I just want to honor appreciation in a way that's real.
And I know you can look at history Thanksgiving, you make your smart arguments and intellectual battles around what it really was and how bad. Yeah, OK, fine. All that can be true and fair and everything.
But the spirit of appreciation is what I'm talking about. That's what let's not get hung up on everything else. So what does it mean to be appreciative and how to use it?
And boy, it's a challenge. And I'm going to challenge it to power. I use it at Mountain Leverage all the time.
We start with appreciation, that's where we are. We have stuff we're doing wrong. We have messed up all the time.
We got things got to fix, got all that. But man, if you start with appreciation, what I try to start there, and I'm kind of pushing appreciation into the organization, and then I'm pulled in. I'm pulled in by what I see.
All of a sudden, it's like a code that rewrites my vision, it rewrites what I'm paying attention to. And I see amazing things that I'm just absolutely appreciative of. And it's just, it's wild.
It's amazing. So, yeah, appreciation applies, you know, as I look at my roles as a founder, a father, and a friend, appreciation is there in every way. It's a foundational, seminal type artifact that's always there.
Challenge: Be Appreciative
So anyway, where are we at here? Where do we go from here? There's lots more I want to talk about again, but I want to end this just there.
And I want to say, my challenge to you, if you're up to challenges and whatnot, is start with appreciation. Try to find your way there.
I think you'll find, and you may not, I'd be interested to hear how your experience goes, but you'll find not only are you happier, and it's not all about happiness necessarily, but you're likely happier, and those around you are going to see you
differently, and they're going to feel different, and outcomes are going to be there that maybe wouldn't have been otherwise. And you want to change the world. You see things online or on the news or whatever else. You want to change the world.
I'm going to tell you, I'm starting with being appreciative, and I appreciate you. I appreciate you listening. I appreciate you however long you've followed along, if it's just today or if it's been the whole time.
Whatever, man, I appreciate that you're here, and I appreciate what you do and what you have to go through in a day and a life. And I appreciate that you're here trying to find a path that works. And so, yeah, I mean, that's it.
So my challenge to you is take on appreciation. Grab at it. See what happens.
See what happens. And I know a lot of us already are very appreciative in life, and I am as well, but just this extra kind of focus this season, it makes it gives it kind of an uplift, right?
You got Thanksgiving going on and Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year's, whatever your things are, right? There's just, there's a lot going on this season that kind of makes you, it makes it a little easier to get swept up in appreciation.
At least it does for me. And as I start my new year, I try to start on December 1, I kick it off with like a full blast of appreciation in my bones and in my blood and take that forward. So anyway, that's enough.
I can wax on for a long time on this topic. Again, I really find gratitude, appreciation, I found this thing as an absolute superpower. And so I wish it for you.
I wish it for you. And so yeah, hey, I would love to hear stories, things that have worked for you, stories of appreciation, challenges, ideas, questions, whatever. Let's get back on it.
Here we are, season two. We're back after it. We're going to be doing this.
You guys have always asked some really great questions and pulled some things in, and I've really enjoyed what we've done together as a community here. And I'm looking forward to what season two and beyond brings.
So before that, though, if you're here in the States doing your thing or wherever you are and you're doing any kind of Thanksgiving or family gatherings or whatever here in the next week or so, enjoy it. And I hope it's awesome for you.
And I hope you take my challenge to really apply appreciation in a way maybe you've never have, maybe just to overdo it. There's a few things you can't overdo and appreciation is one of them.
So take that challenge on and whatever it is you're doing, wherever you may be, I hope you are flourishing.
Alex Reneman is the founder of Mountain Leverage and Unleash Tygart and host of Flourishing w/ Alex Reneman. For 20+ years he has worked as CEO of Mountain Leverage, honing the concept of flourishing and experimenting with it in the business. In July of 2024, he decided to begin to share this idea with others, which led to his podcast, social content, and the plans for other initiatives in the future.
